Do you feel hurt when someone says NO to you?

10 September 2012

Photo via Pinterest.

If you haven't already noticed, life is all about you isn't it?
Don't believe me?  Let me prove it to you....

When you look at a group photograph, who do you look at?  Who's the first person you look for?

YOU! YOU and YOU!!! Ok! Proved my point. <you should see the grin on my face.... hehe...>

How do you feel when someone says no to you? Do you feel rejected, hurt or embarrassed? 

Since its all about us, we will certainly feel so. Why so?  I bet no one really told you why.  So here it is.

Because your self esteem has been threatened and you feel that you have been judged. If so, I can safely say you are someone who gets affected easily by what people think or say about you.  Saying sorry is also very difficult for you because you can never be wrong right?  And you will want to win every argument or have the last sentence.

I always ask people if they really care what people think of them. Of course, that's a silly question because EVERYONE will say no!  I'm not here to burst your bubble but if you are my client I WILL!! Hey! My job is not to make you feel good.... I'm here to make you realize what you don't know about you so that you can teach others to LOVE you.  And the hardest thing for anyone is to acknowledge that there's something not right and they need to fix it.

It's always easier to fix others because you are not doing the physical work.  Looking deep within yourself is something hard to do as well.  Because your EGO will tell you that nothing needs to be fixed and you are perfect the way you are.  NOW.... think about it.... if your EGO was right, then how come you are not living a perfect life?

I'll be the first to admit, I haven't completely tamed my EGO but I do recognize when my EGO is talking in my head and I know how to shut it up!  It's also called mental chatter or mind clutter.  Most of us are walking around with so much mental chatter in our heads that we are confused most of the time!

My point here is really to have a conversation and look deep within yourself the next time someone says NO to you.  Notice the emotions but don't react or judge.  Just stay neutral and see where your emotions lead you to.

You may be happy to know that when people (most of them) say no to you it's not because of you.  We're all given freewill to make choices isn't it?  If you are someone who always say YES to people so that you will get YES back then you may also need to check on your integrity and intentions.  Are you in a victim mode?

Here are 7 tips to increase your self esteem and be "bullet proof".
  1. Look at the mirror and give 1 compliment to the person in it.
  2. It's not about you TODAY, be a listener to someone who needs your time.
  3. No judging of others and self.
  4. Be polite and courteous today.
  5. Send LOVE to people you don't know and don't expect anything in return.
  6. If you are a YES person, say NO when you want to.
  7. If you are a NO person, say YES to everything today!

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