7 To Do Simple Steps to Attract a Successful First Date
27 October 2012
Every girl dreams of a fairy tale ending and live happily ever after. But how many of us truly are successful in the love department? Love is something we crave so deeply within our souls and yet we don't really know how to get it.
Freedom comes with great responsibility. During our great great great parents time, they were matched made and they never saw their life partner till the night of their wedding. Honestly, I'm not at all keen with this idea BUT the thing is something worked out for them. Although, they enter their marriage with much resistance but they usually end up being a loving couple with at least 8 children together.
So what's wrong with us now? Now that we are able to pick and choose who we want to spend the rest of our lives with and yet the divorce rate is sky rocketing. Perhaps because we are given so much freedom, we start to take things for granted?
Falling in love is easy. Keeping one takes hard work and most people nowadays are not too keen on hard work I must say. We live in a world of speed. We can cook our noodles in 1 minute..... search for everything we want and need at a press of a few buttons.... we get impatient when our computer does not load up within 3 seconds. Therefore, we can't be bothered to deal with our own problems, expect everyone else to fix it and want a miracle pill.
I believe we all have our true love out there looking for us too. You can eliminate all your guess work and waiting once you get clear on what do you really want. Going on dates are easy. You need to know why exactly are you doing this. Are you going on dates for fun or in search for THE ONE?
I've put together a simple to do list just for you. If you are willing to put in some effort, I'm confident you will have successful follow up dates.
7 TO Do Simple Steps to Attract A Successful First Date.
1. Write down your beliefs about LOVE.
No one really taught us what LOVE is and unfortunately we learn and pick up our beliefs about love from the people around us. Namely our parents... care givers... and if they do not have the right relationships themselves, our perception on LOVE isn't going to be right to.
Also, another GREAT influencer is .... the HOLLY WOOD romance. The stories are always so perfect.
Get clear on your beliefs and really ask yourself if they are realistic!
2. Why do you REALLY want a partner?
If you want a partner just to fulfill your needs, then you are digging your own grave and I don't even need to read your LOVE cards to tell you that this relationship isn't going to work out. WHY? Because you will always be expecting your partner to make you happy, supply you with your needs and you won't be taking responsibility of your life. Basically, it's conditioned love and you will only love your partner only if..... he does this and that.
Don't give your power away! Learn to learn to love and take care of yourself first, then teach others how to love you.... That way, you will attract a relationship that's on equal status and not a co dependent one.
3. Do you know how to love yourself?
Do you think you are lovable? If you don't think you are lovable then why would someone else think so?
There's no doubt that you are lovable and your true love is out there looking for you too!
4. Get clear on what kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Getting clear is really important. You can't just leave it to fate and let the Law of Attraction work it's magic and know who to send you just because you are ready for love. If you send out mixed signals, you will get mixed results.
Once you are clear on what you want, then ask yourself if you are that person! Remember if you want a perfect mate, your partner wants a perfect mate too!
5. Your Love Mindset
Once you get clear, then act as if you are already in a relationship. Have a clear picture in your mind how life will be like when you have your true love in your life.
How are you feeling?
How will you be behaving?
What will you be doing?
Visualizations, affirmations and your emotions will attract your true love to you faster than you think.
6. How's your branding?
Read more about branding yourself in my previous posts where I discussed what to wear and how to look during your first date.
7. Get yourself out there!
This is it! Once you got all sorted out internally, you need to get out there and be seen. You can't expect for your true love to knock on your door and just appear out of the blue!
Go out on social events with an open mind, not a desperate mind! There's a difference. If you go out out with a desperate vibe, you will attract people who are desperate. Go out, have fun and yourself. Have the belief and inner knowing that YOU WILL MEET THE ONE when you see him. This take a lot of pressure away.
Your beliefs and perception about LOVE is everything so, make the intention and get out of the way. Let the universe perform its magic! If you get this right, you will attract your TRUE LOVE in 90 days.
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
Make up for your First Date
25 October 2012
I don't suggest you turn up on your first date with a bare face unless you have super duper good skin. And even if you do, please wear at least a lip gloss. As mentioned in previous post, first impression plays a huge role in successful follow up dates.
Not to sound shallow, but the eye needs to like what it sees first. That's just how the way we function. Creating long lasting first impression helps with successful follow up dates.
Besides dressing well, putting on some make up is also a must. Here are some looks which I feel are good. Not too much and not too little.... bringing out the natural beauty in you.
Simple Make up for any dates.
See the magic of make up?
However, I don't encourage because you will shock your partner when you remove your make up.
That's really cheating carried out way too far. At the end of the day, you really want your date to fall in love with your heart and the real you and not some plastic barbie doll look. Make up should enhance your natural beauty and not hide it. Honestly, I'm not sure if you really want to remove your make up and show your true colors...
Which at some stage in your relationship you need to. Unless you decide to surgically have make up permanently colored on your face.
That's really cheating carried out way too far. At the end of the day, you really want your date to fall in love with your heart and the real you and not some plastic barbie doll look. Make up should enhance your natural beauty and not hide it. Honestly, I'm not sure if you really want to remove your make up and show your true colors...
Which at some stage in your relationship you need to. Unless you decide to surgically have make up permanently colored on your face.
I love smokey eyes for dinner dates.
Make up essentials:
- Concealer is a must to cover dark eye circles and spots.
- Foundation or loose powder.
- Eyebrow pencil.
- Mascara is a must!
- Blusher
- Eye shadow (optional)
- Eye liner (optional)
- Lip gloss
At the end of the day, do what makes you comfortable most and have the courage to experiment. I didn't start out with perfect skills too! As the saying goes, "perfect" practice makes perfect!
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship Expert for Women
What to wear on your FIRST date?
24 October 2012
Let's face it! First impression counts and it lasts..... I know you have a beautiful heart and soul but honestly most relationships are built on a series of first impressions. And you only have one chance to create that lasting and perfect impression. To tell you the truth, you only have 30 seconds to make it right.
Since the first impression is so important and THIS could be the date that could potentially change your life, why not put some effort into it. Before I go on..... I've to make myself clear here, I'm not asking you to do a 459 degrees change in the way you look. And in fact, I think the more you show up as being yourself, chances of you finding love increases.
After all, it's tough being someone you are not and it's even harder to follow through. Plus, your date is not falling in love with the REAL you!
After all, it's tough being someone you are not and it's even harder to follow through. Plus, your date is not falling in love with the REAL you!
The choice is ultimately yours.
What I think you SHOULD NOT wear on your first date:
- Clothes that reveals too much of your boobs, bare back or showing too much of your body parts. Unless you are expecting to take them off much later in the night.
- VPL: Visible panty lines. It really looks very cheap.
- Clothes that you are too way too small for you. You will be fidgeting the entire night hoping and wishing you didn't wear it and won't be concentrating on your date.
- Choose your clothes according to the venue. You won't want to wear a gown to go watch a movie or shirt and jeans to a 5* restaurant.
- Please..... SMELL good.... always make sure you keep your breath FRESH! The last thing you want is to smell like garlic. I think this is part of social etiquette and you shouldn't torture anyone with garlic smelling breath!
Here's what I suggest you wear on your first date:
- Wear clothes that you are comfortable in so that it doesn't bother you later in the evening.
- Put on some make up.
- Accessorize your outfit.
- Add some colors to your outfit.
- Put on some heels.
Fun and Simple Look.
Good for a breakfast date.
Very sophisticated looking, pure and elegant.
Suitable for a LUNCH Date.
Confident and Smart Look.
Great look for a Dinner Date after work.
Classy and relaxed Look.
An outfit good for any occasion.
Dresses are my all time favorite.
Fit for any and all occasion. Dress them up and down
by changing your shoes.
When you look good, you will feel good and that immediately increases your self esteem and confidence. And that's something you cannot fake! You also send out vibes that you deserve the best because you feel the best.
Here's another tip:
Regardless whether the guy is the ONE or not, your intention for the night is to have fun and enjoy yourself.
- Before you go on your hot date, visualize that everything is going well and see you and your date having a good time.
- Choose 3 positive words for the night. Eg. Happy, Exciting and Pleasant.
- Tell yourself: I'm a beautiful confident woman and I deserve the best. It's going to a great evening!
Cheers to your love life!
Drop me a comment and I would LOVE to hear from you! =)
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Smart, Sexy & Successful Women.
10 signs that your relationship is coming to an end
22 October 2012
Whether you are a love junkie or someone who craves for a happy ending, we all enjoy the feeling of being in love. Something magical happens when we fall in LOVE. Nothing is able to get us down, we become more efficient at work, miraculously lose all our baby fats, everyone around us seems to be good people and we are in the best of best of mood.
That's because romantic love has been humanity's favourite drug. It triggers the brain and serve a hormonal mixture of dopamine, norepinephrine, adrenline and oxytocin that sends us up to the ultimate high. When we fall in love, it's the same part of the brain that lights up when a person is high on cocaine.
So, if you are a love junkie, you are addicted to that LOVE high and you will need more doses of this love chemical to satisfy your "cravings" because like all drug substances, you build up your tolerance.
Unfortunately, the LOVE chemical does not last forever.... for a least 6 months or so and again if you are a love junkie, you will start to find that the excitement is starting to wear out and you will find excuses to break up with your current partner.
I'm not talking about this temporary LOVE.
Being in a relationship takes effort. There's no 2 way about it. To have a successful relationship, both parties must work on themselves. You can't clap your hands with only one hand no? When husband or wife has had a change of heart, I feel both parties are at fault. No one will be able to penetrate a marriage if the couple is madly in love with one another.
But more often then not, if the husband strays, the wife will cry and play victim!!
So, how to tell if your relationship is coming to and end?
- You are not looking forward to your time together.
- Verbal, emotional or even physical abuse i.e fighting all the time.
- Lack of respect.
- No longer working towards the same goals.
- You have nothing much to say to one another.
- No longer have physical contact.
- Sleeping in separate rooms.
- You no longer see your partner in your future.
- You enjoy doing things and spending time alone.
- Your partner's behavior changes drastically.
If you think yours is coming to an end, and you feel you no longer want to work at it, then perhaps a separation is good for both parties. Sometimes, after the "cooling period", the couple changes their mind. The bottom line is, follow your heart and move on if the relationship has to come to an end.
I know it's hard especially when there are children involved. But I feel, if you are staying for the sake of your children, what are you teaching your children? It's wrong to pursue to your own happiness?
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women.
What celebrity blogger Holly Jean say about my work
17 October 2012
You might have noticed a new banner up on my site for Love Coaching. It's from a nice lady called Elyse, who I went to for Angel card reading a year plus ago (click here to read that post). The video is no longer available... but I remember her telling me something about my then BF (the HK guy). She told me that he wasn't serious, and that my match was someone else. I cut this part out of the video because I was still dating him at that time (lol). But I didn't want to believe her... in the end it turned out true ! Gah! (www.hollyjean.sg)
Now Elyse has branched out into Love coaching and she offers a Free training video series on: What a woman really want: How to attract a loving and abundant life.
Free No obligation 30 mins Love Attraction Coaching.She helps women only (both single and married).
You can read her testimonials, more about who Elyse is and what she can do for you.
Upcoming event
Date: 29th October (Monday)
Time: 7pm- 9pm
A "love attraction" workshop: How to attract the Love you desire and what you want in love.
The topic of this workshop is- love is letting go of fear
Are you having sleepless nights thinking about your problems?
15 October 2012
I 've been having trouble sleeping for the past few weeks. I've been waking at 4am almost every night for a few weeks now. And finally!!! I've been able to sleep through the night for a few days now.
What happened?
Honestly I really hated the feeling of not being well rested and almost impossible to function during the day. I realized my temper was bad, I didn't like that I couldn't think clearly ie lack of mental clarity, feeling confused, had to rely on caffeine to keep me awake or I needed to take a nap during the day. And even after napping I still felt tired. I really didn't like the feeling of being latargic and lack of energy!!!
I wanted answers desperately.... I was wondering if God or the universe had some important messages for me that I had to be awake in the middle of the night to listen to the message.
The answer was NO! God didn't have any messages for me!! It was ME! It was me and my mind going on and on thinking and trying to to change the future with my thoughts!! Therefore it lead to stress! And a result, I couldn't sleep.
It's really useless sacrificing your sleep to think about your problems because usually it's of no help. If you had and knew the solution to your problem, wouldn't you be snoring like a pig every night? If you have ever had a or many sleepless nights, you would know what I mean.
If you ever had sleepless nights because you are thinking why the guy didn't call you or why you got passed over for that promotion or why your bosses and colleagues hate you or how can you pay your next month's rent, did you come up with any feasible solution during your sleepless time?
What happens when you're thinking of your problem is that you think of the problem and then you'll come up a thousand possible solutions why it would work and at the same time think of a million reason why it wouldn't work.
For example:
"Why didn't George call me back when he said he'll call me back after his meeting?"
" He forgot about me because he's seeing someone else!"
"I wonder if she's prettier than me!"
"what's wrong with me? Maybe my boobs aren't big enough for him....."
"is he going to break up with me soon?"
"I'll never be able to find someone like him!"
"why am I so unlucky all the time????"
"no one will love me!"
....
.......
.........
You get my point? So you tell yourself horrible stories and scare yourself and caused unnecessary stress to your mind and body. It's the "What if....." that's scaring the daylight out of you.
For me, I decided to reach out for help. After all, you don't know what your don't know and you can't see what you can't see. Meaning they're your blind spots. Yes even coaches need a coach to coach them.
I know ..... You think you know yourself well right? And why should you have someone else tell you what you need to do since you'll be able to sort things out yourself. Well.... How's it going for you so far? Are you happy and contented with life? Do you really love your life and having a ball of your time?
I know how it feels because I used to have the same thoughts. I can sort things out myself. It the sleepless nights was killing me and this isn't what I signed up for.
I'm so happy that I got my energy back and I've a plan to follow so that I don't have to play the"ping ping" game in my head anymore.
I'm grateful I got my energy back and a good night sleep. Dont ever think there's something wrong with you because you reached out for help. On a contrary, you're the brave one who finally decided you no longer want to suffer and you're ready to live the life your truly deserve. It takes more courage to create a life you love then to run away from a life you can have.
What does it mean for you to finally be free from being a prisoner in your mind?
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
Why are there sufferings and nothing seems to be working out?
11 October 2012
I woke up this morning and I had huge urge to read this book. I have had this book for over 3 years now and I never had the inclination to read it till now.
I believe there's always a DIVINE timing for everything and that includes the right information being presented to you at the right time. Like the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Over the past 1 year, I was on my own journey in search of my life purpose and who am I really. In fact, it went well over 1 year. One of my friend commented, she was waiting to see when I would sort things out and finally decide on what I really wanted to do. I was jumping from being a healer to a business coach to an image consultant to a network marketer to a money coach then back to being a healer again. Yes, indeed I was super confused at who I was and who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.
But after 2 years, the message never changed, I just didn't listen and I had no patience and lack of knowledge to pursue the "thing" I'm meant to do. In short, you could also say, I lacked self confidence and faith in our creator. You know, they say you teach the thing you need most and I do agree that I needed to let go a lot of my fears and completely open my heart to give and receive love.
I've finally made up my mind to devote my time and effort to promote this thing called "LOVE". I know at first it may sound mushy but as I dwell further into the subject, LOVE is not just the romantic kind of thing. It's a state of BEING. That means, love is not just an emotion but a state of knowing that we are all perfect.
There're only 2 emotions. LOVE or FEAR.
What is LOVE? What is Fear?
Fear is the absence of LOVE.
My lesson in life is about self love and your lessons are your gift to the world. I never quite like or loved myself very much when I was much younger and I'm still working on myself. Once, I started my own self love journey, I started to notice and observe the people and women around me. 90% of the population are carrying so much hurt and anger and since they are unsure of how to express or channel their anger, people are walking around like the whole world owes them a living!
To begin to feel what love is, start by feeling grateful to things you already have. Like the food on the table, which we take it for granted. Once you activate that gratitude feeling in your heart, you will feel your heart opening up. I won't be surprised if there's a tear or two. When you're in the state of LOVE, you can manifest anything and everything into your life.
Know that GOD doesn't create junk and therefore you're not junk and neither is your "enemy". When you can forgive and bless the ones who have hurt you, and see that good things are happening to them, my friend, you've experienced UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Love is something we all want but yet we it seems like a mystery to us. Expecting someone else to love you back when you can't love yourself, is like feeding yourself poison and expecting someone else to die.
You are struggling and suffering because you're not aligned with LOVE. I call myself a LOVE ATTRACTION coach, a relationship expert to all women because you can't find love. Love is already within you. To have good relationships, the best relationship you need to have is with yourself first.
I see it over and and over again with so many women, who are unhappy because their partners are not up to their standard, their kids are not doing what they want them to do, their job sucks because no one seems to like them.......
JUST STOP!!! And think what are you doing to yourself! If you say you love yourself, then why are you allowing yourself to suffer? You deserve to be happy and you need to believe that!
You can have anything you want once you remove all self doubt and the "I don't think I can do it" thinking. If doing what you've been doing has not brought you to where you want to be then don't you think it's time to change some things?
Love is the best medication to all illness and dis-ease. Stop allowing people to control your emotions and start living life for yourself! If you don't know how to love you, then no one will!
© Elyse-anne - The "Love Attraction" Coach for all women
How can Law of Attraction Help you attract the LOVE you desire?
08 October 2012
Most of us would have heard of this universal law called the Law of Attraction and if you don't, you may want to watch the hit move called "The Secret". By applying the Law of Attraction into your daily life, you can attract anything in your life. But why is it that so many people are struggling?
The way many people, including myself before I found the RIGHT way to apply it, applies the law of attraction by focusing on what they don't want. And then expect the Universe to know what they really want.
But the fact of the matter is that, that's a lazy way and definitely not being responsible to yourself. You're again expecting "someone" else to do the work for you. When you focus on what you DON'T want, the universe will bring you more of what you DON'T want.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. It doesn't matter what your life purpose is and whether you are a man or a woman, your main purpose is to experience unconditional love and to love yourself and others. How many of us REALLY experienced unconditional love? If most of us are experiencing it, then the world will definitely be a better place to live in. When LOVE is absent, you're feeling FEAR.
And if you don't get LOVE sorted out in your life, you probably can't function very well.
So how to attract the LOVE you desire with the help of the Law of Attraction. Again, it'll require to do some thinking and action. Don't ever expect a miracle pill!
You will need a pen and a piece of paper:
But the fact of the matter is that, that's a lazy way and definitely not being responsible to yourself. You're again expecting "someone" else to do the work for you. When you focus on what you DON'T want, the universe will bring you more of what you DON'T want.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. It doesn't matter what your life purpose is and whether you are a man or a woman, your main purpose is to experience unconditional love and to love yourself and others. How many of us REALLY experienced unconditional love? If most of us are experiencing it, then the world will definitely be a better place to live in. When LOVE is absent, you're feeling FEAR.
And if you don't get LOVE sorted out in your life, you probably can't function very well.
So how to attract the LOVE you desire with the help of the Law of Attraction. Again, it'll require to do some thinking and action. Don't ever expect a miracle pill!
You will need a pen and a piece of paper:
- What do you think LOVE is?
- Why do you want LOVE in your life?
- What's really holding you back from attracting the LOVE in your life?
- What do you REALLY want?
- Have you completely let go of your past relationships?
- What are your beliefs about love?
- Do you feel you are lovable?
- Are you going out to meet people or stuck behind the computer expecting LOVE to show up?
Answer these questions honestly and truthfully, you don't need to show your answers to anyone.
When you know how to love yourself, you can teach others how to love you. This is the secret to a loving and long lasting relationship!
It applies to both man and woman!
Are you attracting backstabbers, betrayers and cheaters?
01 October 2012
If you're reading this, then I'm sure you've either been backstabbed, betrayed or cheated on. Am I right? And I'm sure the feeling ain't good and it has left a very bad taste in your mouth! It probably has affected your ability to trust again and you've build up a great wall of china defense mechanism. It might also probably turned you into a bitch. After all, if you can't beat them join them?
When I was a cabin crew, backstabbing and betrayal was such a common sight. I'm not suggesting cabin crew are shallow people but really now that I look back perhaps I was .... That's why I quit! I was so sick and tired of playing the "game"!
I know! You think you're a good person and you all this backstabbing crap shouldn't happen to you. But it is and you're wondering what's wrong with you. Again, I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with you. In fact, let me tell you this.... You DID attract all the backstabbing and betrayal to you. That does not mean I'm saying you a bad person.
Your external environment is a reflection of your internal world so that means that you're backstabbing and betraying yourself on some level. I'm sure you don't mean to consciously sabotage yourself. You're sabotaging yourself on a sub conscious level.
Example 1:
You made a promise to yourself to go jogging the next day because you want to improve your stamina but you can't wake up the next day and you tell yourself, it's ok.
In a way, you're not aligned with integrity and you betrayed yourself.
Example 2:
You're a sales person and because you want to meet your quota so you lower your price and over deliver to your clients.
That means, you are cheating yourself and not valuing yourself. That's a form of betrayal!
Example 3:
You've a hunch that this "NEW" guy is not the one but because you so desperately want to be in a relationship that you revolve yourself around this guy.
That's a form of cheating and betrayal to your own intuition and integrity.
If you're always surrounded by these people or situations, it's time to reflect on how you are treating and loving yourself.
Integrity is doing the RIGHT thing when no one is watching!
© Elyse-anne - The "Love Attraction" Coach
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