Another Short Review by Model Blogger Christine
23 November 2012
Photo via Pinterest.
Christine did an advertorial post for me 1 year ago (19th Mar 2011). Read it here.
Below is NOT an advertorial post, she did a review out of good will.
Exactly 16 days before my birthday, i met Elyse (www.purposelyinlove.com). Having gone through a turbulent childhood and many failed relationships, Elyse is now healed whole and enjoying a happy marriage for the last 10 years. All because she has self-love.
Self-love, it's something i if not everyone, struggle with.
I was defensive when Elyse asked if i was happy, confident and positive. I think, or rather, thought i am!
Not being personal friends, Elyse was tough in grilling me about my life and harsh in her words. She gave me a much needed reality check.
Why have my relationships failed? I looked down and mumbled "just didn't happen loh." She asked if i knew what i want. I retorted, "of course!"
"What do you want?" I rattled off some qualities, got frustrated with her interrogation and said," Aiya! I don't make a list. I've never made a list because making a list means Mr. Perfect and that don't exists!"
Oh-o...wrong answer. Elyse frowned and her lips pursed in an almost angry pout.
"Why do you not make a list? Why do you short change yourself and tell yourself you won't find a perfect man?" She tapped her fingers on the table repeatedly.
I recoiled in my seat, i felt small and i felt tears welling up. She was right.
There are certain things i need to change in my life, and what better time to do when i turn 17, in dog years.
I remember me and my bestie doodled on a A&W tray paper what we envision our love life to be. She drew a condo, a man, a baby and a Mercedes. I drew a beach, a man & a heart shaped with candles.
Today, she has a condo, a man, a baby and a Ford.
Making a list is not about the 5Cs(unless that's what you want). Making a list is a commitment to yourself to look out and recognize the qualities you want in a partner.
In fact, i resisted making that list until 2 weeks after because it was a challenge on my belief system.
However, since i'm turning 17, let me do something adult. Let me try something i've never tried before.
Here's my list. I need a man who's
1.Christ believing because my dad honours God and he honours my mum despite her flaws
2. Financially savvy because i suck at knowing what to do with my money
3. A planner
4. Disciplined (& thats why uniforms are sexy)
5. Responsible & reliable
6. Patient because i can be a toilet hogger
7. A listener
8. Not prideful because i want my opinion as a partner valued
9. Love my family as i love his
10. Treat me special and not everyone special
11. Honest & righteous
12. Committed
Because of this her clients get proven, undiluted and specific step by step instruction on how to get over their exs, attract men they really want and not who they get without looking desperate and feeling needy. No more mind games. No more conforming to society "rules". Her clients usually experience an A-HA moment in just 1 session.
She believes that it's every woman's ultimate goal to love and be loved and live a purposeful life. When a woman experiences and gets the love she desires, she is able to create miracles in her life. She becomes an alchemist. On the other hand, when a woman's life is blocked in love, it affects every area of her life. She literally shuts down and experiences struggles in every area of her life.
"Love life and live life the way you want it!" ~ Elyse-Anne
Are you in a relationship to SAVE you?
19 November 2012
Are you out of love? Miserable and broke? I know this sounds harsh but isn't that the reality? That most people are walking around with so much anger because they are so upset with their life? If you've the luxury of time, just go outside and observe the people walking past you. Are they walking with a smile on their face or walking in a rush with their heads buried in their smart phones?
You may already have watched this video that went viral on the internet but in case you haven't, watch the video.
The Washington Post: http://wpo.st/-vP (Video by John W. Poole)
Back to the topic, I don't know many people who are truly happy. When I get my clients to visualize or go back to a time where they felt really loved and experience true happiness, most find it a difficulty because they either can't remember or never truly experienced true love and happiness.... and tears start streaming down their faces.
I totally understand how and what that feels like because I was once in their shoes. I never knew and felt real love. Since my parents fought all the time and they eventually ended up in a divorce, plus I grew up watching unrealistic hollywood movies, I had no role model to look up to. So, how would I know what TRUE LOVE meant? If you have similar background then you'll know what I mean.
Despite all these negative beliefs and conditioning, I'm sure you still long for love. But the BIG question is... if there's such a thing called TRUE LOVE then why are you constantly attracting the wrong kind of men who either cannot commit or leave you hurt at the end of the day?
You may not want to hear this but as your LOVE Coach it's my duty to bring this to your awareness. This is because YOU are wanting to be in a relationship for wrong reasons. And these are the same reasons why the divorce rates are sky rocketing and married people often feel trapped!
These are some common (wrong) reasons why women want to be in a relationship:
- in relationship because the guy is rich!
- an escape to get out of the family because abusive background.
- unplanned pregnancy.
- being in a relationship for too long so it just seems like it's the right thing to do.
- your biological clock is ticking.
- fear of being alone.
- fear of losing face.
- pressure from family.
- out of obligation or convenience.
- save family or self out of debt.
If you are nodding your head like mad to one or more sentences, then you need to STOP right now and really think about this..... Does this feel like TRUE LOVE to you? Is this UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? Why do you really want to in love and what do you expect from being in a relationship?
If after answering these questions and you're feeling sick in your stomach then you really need to change your beliefs about LOVE and relationships otherwise it'll continue to sabotage your true happiness.
If you want something you've never had before, then you need to do something you've never done.
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Smart, Sexy & Successful Women | Relationship expert for All Women
Meet Elyse The LOVE Coach for women
Her clients usually experience an A-HA moment in 1 session. Elyse's work is about changing people's personal energy and thought process on the topic of love and then their life changes.
She believes that it's every woman's ultimate goal to love and be loved and live a purposeful life. When a woman experiences and gets the love she desires, she is able to create miracles in her life. She becomes an alchemist. On the other hand, when a woman's life is blocked in love, it affects every area of her life. She literally shuts down and experiences struggles in every area of her life.
Elyse is dedicated to empower every woman to.... "love life and live life the way you want it!"
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
5 Things Your MAN Will NEVER Tell YOU!
18 November 2012
Why women never seem to be able to shut up and men never seem to be able listen? The way we process our emotions are so different. Of course, there are men who never seem to be able to shut up either!
Unless you've a husband who cannot tell a lie or he's so bad at it that you can just look at him straight in the eye and he'll start blabbing..... like my husband.... =) or if you're as sensitive and intuitive like me, you'll be able to smell a lie from a distance, don't you wonder sometimes what the hell are the men thinking sometimes?
I wonder why men:
- have to pay for sex when they have a beautiful wife at home.
- need to have mistress if they love their wives so much
- have such big egos.
- cheat on their wives when they are about to give birth.
- like to look at big breasts.
- can't agree that women can hold the fort just as well.
- think of sex of often while they are awake... even in their dreams.
- finds it so hard to be just themselves.
- finds it difficult to say "I Love You."
- can't remember their own mom's birth date.
- behave like little babies.
- can't drive with patience!
- can't ask for directions.
What about you? Do you have you own I wonder why men are like this and that?
We women have our own issues too, it's not like we don't... So to be fair I'm going to pick the men's brain and share what they think about us.
Men wonder why women:
- have to so many pairs of black shoes. To them black is black.
- need to speak to our girlfriends on a daily basis.
- need to tell their girlfriends EVERYTHING.... like EVERYTHING.
- like to repeat and repeat (nag) themselves.
- like to be backseat drivers.
- have to spend 2 hours on beautifying themselves.
- cry while watching a movie.
- have mood swings.
- have to starve to make themselves skinny.
I think the BIG question I've always had in my mind is WHY CAN'T MEN ALSO GIVE BIRTH? Remember the movie Junior, where Arnold Schwarzenegger became (successfully) pregnant and gave birth? Everything seems to be possible now with technology and science, perhaps the scientist could look into this. After all, there are more and more men staying at home while more and more women are becoming leaders of the century, WHY NOT?
So, what are the 5 things your man will NEVER tell you.
1. What he talks about during his BOYS night out.
2. He doesn't like it when you speak well of other men.
3. He fantasizes about another woman while having sex with you.
4. He worries that you'll find someone better than him.
5. He (secretly) wishes you'll never be more successful than him.
You don't have to feel cheated or upset if he doesn't tell you everything because you don't want him to know everything about you or what you are thinking about either. Being together doesn't mean he suddenly belongs to you now and that you OWN him. If you feel that way, that's your insecurities acting up and by doing so, you are pushing him away and sabotaging your own relationship. It's good to have your own boundaries and time alone so that you'll enjoy your time together even more.
Remember, life still goes on and it doesn't revolve just around the two of you.
Meet Elyse The LOVE Coach for women
Her clients usually experience an A-HA moment in 1 session. Elyse's work is about changing people's personal energy and thought process on the topic of love and then their life changes.
She believes that it's every woman's ultimate goal to love and be loved and live a purposeful life. When a woman experiences and gets the love she desires, she is able to create miracles in her life. She becomes an alchemist. On the other hand, when a woman's life is blocked in love, it affects every area of her life. She literally shuts down and experiences struggles in every area of her life.
Elyse is dedicated to empower every woman to.... "love life and live life the way you want it!"
Will bigger boobs get you on more dates?
12 November 2012
You know how people tell you that they are comfortable in their own skin but I never really knew what they meant. Honestly, I grew up never liking my own body because I didn't have bigger boobs and I've always wanted to go under the knife to get bigger boobs. I mean... don't you think you look better in clothes and, I thought if I had bigger boobs, my partner would love me more! You know, I've always thought men are shallow! I'm not judging but the "boys 2 men" I grew up with are always talking about boobs so that's what I thought!
Plus, if you really look around, the media isn't making things easy for me either! A perfect looking woman includes having big boobs! So I can't help to be influenced when my mind was so immature!
I haven't given up! All these years, I've always asked my husband if I should get bigger boobs and he would always ask me why do I want bigger boobs? And I would give him very superficial answers like... because I'll look better in clothes and I'm sure you'll love my bigger boobs too. But he'll ALWAYS say NO!!! He'll tell me I look perfect the way I am and I would be like.... yeah right!! I know he's very sweet.
Now on hindsight, I'm glad I didn't do it! Because it would be for a very wrong reason. I never really loved myself or my body so no matter what I did, I won't be happy. Do I really really really really want to go under the knife? NO NOT REALLY.... in fact.... HELL NO! I really don't like the idea of this foreign thing in my body! And right now, I'm against anything unnatural! Plus, I feel I'll be carrying a time bomb because it may just "explode" any time.... and can I still breast feed after?
There's nothing wrong wanting to be beautiful! In fact, I'm as vain as any girl. But it's the HOW you do it and not the WHAT you do to yourself! Heck! I don't even believe in taking medication because I believe we are created perfect. And since I believe that I'm perfect then I can heal and recover naturally! So doing all the funny things to myself is way out of the question!
Now that I'm a mother of 3, I'm very grateful to my body. Even though with smaller boobs, my body housed my 3 babies, took care of them and provided for them whatever they needed while in my body. I realized that as I started to love my body more, I started to look younger too! I even read that when you love and appreciate your body, you boobs may just grow bigger.
TRUE! I wanted bigger boobs because I was feeling insecure and very conscious about myself therefore I wanted to modify myself. If you are planning to modify yourself because of this reason, there's a high chance you won't be happy even after you've gone under the knife. You may attract a surgeon that will do a bad job and end up even worse! Even if it's perfect, you may not see if as perfect because you are not happy with yourself to begin with!
I think I'll really end my life if I ended up looking like this.... how to remedy?
So, do I think having bigger boobs will get you on more dates?
I would think so! BUT the men that will be attracted to you are probably just talking to your boobs and not you.... do you want that? If you do, there's nothing wrong with it. But I'm quite sure if you're reading this, you're looking for your TRUE LOVE and someone who can connect with you at ALL levels. To accept and love you just the way you are.
First, you need to accept and love yourself just the way you are and then you'll start attracting GOOD quality men!
Some of the celebrities who have regretted and changed their mind.....
Victoria Beckham
Pamela Anderson
Demi Moore
Sharon Osbourne
Just a thought, what if the media started to promote that small boobs are now the IN thing? Don't listen to media too much... that's what I would say. Be yourself and listen to your body. Your body will never lie to you. Treat it right and it will love you back 10x more! After all, you're going to be living in this body for a very long time. Why not get the relationship right?
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
My Interview with Blogger Grace Tan: For all the Smart, Sexy & Successful Women out there!
10 November 2012
Meet former air stewardess turned Love Coach, Elyse-Anne (www.PurposelyInlove.com)
1) Why did you choose to be a love coach for women, and why not help the men as well?
Have you dated men who don’t take you seriously, cannot commit to a relationship or suddenly ‘disappeared’? I have!
On top of that, my parents divorced when I was young and I grew up thinking I was the cause of my mother’s unhappiness because she kept saying she met her true love only after I was born.
At just 6 years of age, I wrote in my diary that I wanted a Mr Right in my life. Hence, I looked for love all my life.
When I met my husband, we were both party animals. Actually, we weren’t ready for a committed relationship. So we weren’t the “perfect” husband or wife for one another BUT we knew we wanted to be together. Now, I’m very happy to share that I have a loving husband and a happy family.
The turning point in my love life was the birth of my eldest daughter. After she was born, I shifted my focus to her and was no longer needy and clingy to my husband. I loved her more than I loved myself, with the same kind of attachment my mother had with her children. She gave us everything we wanted in exchange for our obedience to her. We were in a very unhealthy relationship because I depended on her for material comfort while she depended on me for emotional comfort.
This is conditional love. I’m sure my mother loves me but I felt trapped and like I couldn’t breathe. I was often ‘sandwiched’ between my husband and my mother – I couldn’t please both of them at the same time. Then I decided to stop being so tired and to only please myself. I learned to put myself first and be independent both emotionally and financially. After speaking with my mentor, I also came to the realization that the unhealthy mother-child relationship had to change. Only then was I free! Change yourself and the rest will follow.
I have also been teaching my daughters the meaning of self-love. And I’m glad to see that they are happy children, with very high self-esteem and confidence.
My Mission
My mission in life is to be a messenger of love. When I discovered my life’s purpose, I started observing people around me, reflected on my life and wondered how I could bring more love to the world. That’s when I discovered that the reason most people are kept awake late at night is because of LOVE or MONEY. In my cabin crew days, our conversations were also mainly about relationships. I’ve found, too, that most women cannot function well WITHOUT love. Don’t know what I mean? Just try working for a female boss! 
Why Not Help The Men Too? Firstly, while men may have their own set of problems, I feel that it’s the woman who defines the relationship. If a woman thinks she’s a victim and she’s submissive, this usually leads to the man taking her for granted and doing whatever he pleases. If the woman is too dominating, always checking on her man, the man will probably end up cheating on her or have really low self-esteem. When a woman clearly knows what she wants and truly loves herself, the relationship based on mutual trust and respect will be balanced.
2) Why would ‘Smart, Sexy & Successful’ women need a love coach when dating should be pretty easy for them?
On the surface it may seem this way and I’ve no doubt that these women have plenty of dates.
But look at the statistics! Divorce rates are rising and the number of people staying single is increasing too!
In Singapore, between 2000-2011, the percentage of women (aged 30-34) who are single increased from 22% to 31%.
In America, 95.7 million people are single and 63% are women who were never married.
Why Hire A LOVE Coach When There Are Plenty Of Men Out There?
There are typically 2 types of people: The Winners and The Whiners.
Whiners are people who will complain about their lives but refuse to do anything about it! The winners, on the other hand, will find a way to make things work.
All of my clients are smart, sexy and successful women and I love working with them because they acknowledge that whatever they have been doing isn’t getting them anywhere and they know that something needs to change so that they can attract their true love.
Usually, all it takes is a small shift in their mindset, a brand new set of beliefs and the letting go of their ex or emotional baggage and BOOM! Magic happens!
If you seek true love, then you must change your core beliefs about yourself, men and love. Otherwise you’ll continue to sabotage yourself by attracting the same result but different men and situations. Hanging out with people who think little about marriage or that all men are bad will affect your perception about love too! Even though you may think otherwise, when you spend a long period of time with them, you will lose your defense against their beliefs and may unconsciously start to mirror their behavior and accept their ideas.
The number one thing that can prevent you from attracting your true love is self doubt and the feeling that you don’t deserve to be loved and happy. Once you create new beliefs about love, you’ll naturally attract new experiences including real loving relationships.
I know a lot of successful women who have sacrificed their love life for their careers and by the time they are successful, they seem to have lost the feminine side of them and are uncomfortable with men.
I was once one of them. I was out there partying to see and be seen in the hope of finding my true love but all I attracted were *NOT NICE* men!
Not all men are *NOT NICE*, they are simply a reflection of who you are.
You can’t see what you can’t see and you don’t know what you don’t know. So if you don’t know what you don’t know then how can you make improvements in your life?
That’s where I, as a love coach, come in to change perceptions and show people the easy way to get a love life.
3) Share with us what you mean by love as a state of being.
First ask yourself what you think LOVE is and why you want love.
Admittedly, my initial idea of ‘love’ was marrying a rich man so that he can take care of me and my wants. That’s what I was raised to believe in. Hence, I was searching for this RICH man.
But that’s not true love! That’s conditional love. Only if the person gives you what you want, will you return the love. But that’s not sustainable. What if your partner can no longer give you what you want? What happens then?
What I mean by LOVE as a state of being is first loving yourself and knowing what you want. Only then can you teach others how to love you and treat you right.
TRUE love is accepting the person the way he is. Don’t you want to be accepted the way you are too? Many women want to change their man to suit themselves but they often find that it makes things worse. That’s NOT true love. That’s conditional love. You can’t change anyone but yourself.
4) Is ‘True Love’ an outdated notion or is it indeed possible to find The One and have everything else fall nicely into place?
No, True Love is not an outdated notion.
Don’t find, ATTRACT! Your true love is not someone whom you have lost. A relationship with your true love is meant to be easy and it isn’t meant to hurt. Many women enter a relationship with a gut feeling that this is not right but they still go ahead because of various reasons. They could fear being alone, or think that time is running out, or are afraid that there’s no one better out there for them.
It may seem hard to find true love because there may be someone or some emotional baggage you are not letting go of. When you meet THE ONE, you’ll know he’s THE ONE! Of course, I teach my clients how to identify THE ONE when they meet him. One of my clients attracted her true love after just 2 sessions with me! Once she was able to let go of her emotional baggage and current relationship which she was holding on to for the wrong reasons, she found her TRUE LOVE! Her mind chatter stopped and her fears disappeared!
Here’s a tip: If you are waiting for your TRUE LOVE to find you, stop believing those Korean, Japanese, Hong Kong drama serials or even Hollywood romance movies. The stories are dramatic and true love isn’t dramatic.
*I believe that it doesn’t matter what your life purpose or your mission is. Your ultimate goal or destination is to experience true unconditional love and be free.
Once you’ve experienced true love, all areas of your life will fall into place.
5) Should we always be searching [more active] for that one true love or should be we attracting [more passive] our true love instead?
We need to do both. It’s not possible to sit at home the whole day and dream of being with your TRUE LOVE and not do anything about it. I have a friend who is really pretty but somehow still single. She knows what she wants in a man but besides work, she’s not doing anything about it. She waits for friends to introduce her to men who, unsurprisingly, never seem to fit the bill. No wonder she’s still single!
Another lady actively goes on dates but still nothing seems to happen. Why? Again, if you search, you’ll never find because you don’t know what you want. Until you get clear on what you want, you’ll never get what you want because even if your TRUE LOVE appeared in front of you, you won’t be able to identify that he’s the one.
There IS a system for attracting your true love in 90 days! Think about it – If you are longing to be with your true love / soul mate, your true love/ soul mate is looking for you too!
Love heals all things and love is the golden ticket to life. Now that you know your true love is out there looking for you, what do you need to do to attract him into your life right now? Don’t let another second go by wasted.
(workingwithgrace.wordpress.com)
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
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