Are you allowing nasty people to affect your love life?

12 December 2012

Photo via Pinterest.

Do you get easily trigger by people?  Or do you get offended or upset when people reject your offer?

If you do, it means 2 things:

  1. somewhere deep inside you, you actually agree with what the person is saying about you.
  2. you are easily influenced.
I know how that feels like because I used to be like that.  At least, I was easily influence.  I still get triggered once in a while but unlike in the past, I don't blow my top and act like a childish princess.  Instead, after allowing all the feelings of negativity to surface, I ask myself why am I triggered and do I believe or agree with what the other person has said.  

When I started out doing my own business, I would get really upset when people unsubscribe from my mailing list or said no to my offer or would not turn up for my event.  I would be feeling so low and wondered if there's really something wrong with me. Then I realized, it's better for these people to go so that I create space for those who believes in me and my work. < Same thing in your love life.> And really, we're given freewill to choose what we want to do.

Ok! So, instead of jumping around like a headless chicken and thinking of ways to attack the other person because you want to make sure the other person will feel as lousy as you, just ask yourself, do you want to be happy or right? I know! It's so tempting to attack and plant that sweet revenge. But for what?  I heard this saying from a very wise friend years ago.... Water seeps through it's own level.  So if you've identified this person as a troublesome person, then do you want to be like her?  

And most of the times, these hooks or triggers happen to make you aware of you own emotions.  Once you've addressed your own issues, you won't allow that someone else to affect you.  I'm not saying that the other person is perfect.  I'm sure he/ she has his/her own issues and because they can't handle their own issues and emotions therefore it came out as an attack.

So how does this translate to your dating life?  Well, lets see....

If you're someone who's always judging and criticizing people (the attacker) or if you're someone who's always easily triggered (the victim), I don't think your love life or life is going the way you want and you may even be feeling miserable.... but you put up a front.

People who pick on others have usually lost control over their lives and deep down they have been hurt really bad. So by attacking others, it their way of protection and to prevent themselves from being hurt again.  These people often don't really know what they want and are also attracting men who don't honor them, just want to sleep with them, abusive or can't commit.

To tell you the truth, these people may seem so confident, but in fact, they have very low self esteem and confidence.  Otherwise, why would they need to be nasty?  Like wise if you get triggered easily by others, then you don't really know yourself very well either.

Want to start attracting men who honor and value you?  Then start honoring yourself today and stop listening to the nay sayers and allow people to control your emotions.  Whatever you do, there will be people who will be pissed, so the only think you can do is to manage your own emotions and be that loving person and all the qualities you want in your Mr. Right.

Don't bother with all the people who don't matter to you and let them affect your emotions because ultimately, it is YOU that matters!  Why let these people delay you from being from your TRUE LOVE?

© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women

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