Is Cheating Ever Forgivable?
28 January 2013
Photo via Pinterest.
I hate to be the one to tell you this but all of us cheats! Yes you heard me right. And even though I commented in the article that cheaters don't deserve a second chance. You may think I'm shooting my own foot but think about it....
- How many times have you told yourself you'll start exercising but you didn't.
- How many times did you say YES to a request when you really wanted to say NO!
- How many times did you tell yourself that you'll curb your temper but you didn't!
So, all of us cheats on ourselves but expects others NOT to cheat on us. Do you think this sounds right?
I can understand why people cheat, because:
- wife is naggy.
- boyfriend not spending enough time with you.
- no sex.
- financial issues.
But that does not mean one has to cheat right? I think if you are consciously aware that your relationship has gone off tracks then you need to be brave enough to work it out with your partner if you still want to grow old together. Otherwise, be brave enough to let the relationship go too!
How many times have you heard a man say that he's married but his marriage is on the rocks and he wants someone to talk to?
How many times have you heard a man say that he'll leave his wife to be with you?
How many times have you heard your girlfriends complain about why they are always meeting unavailable men?
How many times have you heard your girlfriends tell you that it's ok to be someone married because they just want to have fun?
I mean don't you think all these sound like excuses?
I believe all relationships can be worked out... eventually... if both parties are willing to put in equal effort. And during these uncertain times, I agree that it is very tempting to cheat. Cheating allows one to get out and avoid having to deal with the situation for a while. But you know what, reality always comes back to bite you.
Why would one think of cheating when everything in the relationship is perfect?
There will be no room for someone else. Before I got married, my relationship with my husband wasn't all that rosy and I had many options. So I know how it is when things aren't going the way you want and how the grass is greener on the other side.
But once you've signed on the dotted line, you are committed to yourself and your partner to work things out. If you have decided that you no longer want to be in the relationship, then end it. End it and then start another one. If one has the intention to cheat, then doesn't it mean that your heart is no longer with your partner?
There will be no room for someone else. Before I got married, my relationship with my husband wasn't all that rosy and I had many options. So I know how it is when things aren't going the way you want and how the grass is greener on the other side.
But once you've signed on the dotted line, you are committed to yourself and your partner to work things out. If you have decided that you no longer want to be in the relationship, then end it. End it and then start another one. If one has the intention to cheat, then doesn't it mean that your heart is no longer with your partner?
So, if both parties decide to face the situation, then begin by working on their levels of communication and trust issues or what ever issues they may have, then there is no need to cheat is there?
At the end of the day if you are attracting cheaters in your life, it really boils down to you. Are you cheating to yourself?
If not, you won't be cheated on, neither will you want to cheat. Work on your own emotional issues instead of trying to run away.
When you are honest with yourself, you will start attracting honest people. Those who can't be honest be with you will no longer exist.
© Elyse-Anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
What can you learn from the Dog Whisperer about love ?
21 January 2013
Photo via Pinterest.
I hear this all the time from the women I speak to.
"Why is nothing happening for me?"
"Why is it that the men I like, are not interested? And the ones who are interested in me, I'm not!"
"What happened to the men after the first date?"
"Why am I attracting all the married or unavailable men?"
Do these questions ring a bell or sound familiar?
Well.... I know how that feels because I was once in the position and I wondered if there's something wrong with me and maybe it's because my boobs were too small that's why I can't attract quality men. Maybe if I tried to fix myself then I'll have an easy time attracting men that I like.
The good news is... I'm here to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing you need to fix! I know... your next question is this... if I'm so perfect then why is it so difficult to get on quality dates or at least men who are you are keen in.
If you've watched the Dog whisperer, Cesar Millan how he tames the "unruly" dogs, you'll probably know what I'm going to say. How he tames the dogs is very simple. He "trains" the humans first and then tame the dog. He says usually it's always the human's energy that's messed up that's causing the dog to go crazy. Once the human gets a grip over his own emotions and calms down, more often than not, the dog calms down as well.
So what can we learn here, if the dog can sense it's owner's energy and reflecting how the owner is feeling then the same applies here to our dating patterns. Before I elaborate more on this. I want to add on to this energy thing.
Louise Hay said, when a 2 year old displays their terrible 2's tantrum, it's usually a reflection of their parent's emotions. And I absolutely agree with her. You're a reflection of your parents.
Your kids (if you have any) learn and pick up your energy whether you like it or not, believe it or not! So if your kids are going a bit wild, reflect on your inner feelings. More often than not, you're also going through "one of those days".
I recently gave birth to my 3rd child 3 weeks ago and the two older girls adores the baby. There was no jealously what so ever. And I would love to think because we gave so much love to our girls therefore, they are generously giving their love to their younger sister. When we brought baby Arielle to the paediatrician, she asked how were the older girls reaction towards the baby. We told her the girls love the baby and the paediatrician said then we as parents have done it right! YAY!
Back to your dating scene, what does this all mean to you? It means that if your dates are disappearing after the first few dates or men who can't commit, it means deep down somewhere, either you're not really ready for a committed relationship, you don't believe in love or men (you think that all the men are trying to hurt you or you don't believe there's such a thing called love) or you don't know really know what exactly you want.
Your environment is just a reflection of your beliefs. It's not the other way round.
If you want to start attracting men who will treat you right, then start with yourself first. Start treating yourself the way you want men to treat you. And the best way to do it, is to love yourself more and get to know what makes you happy....
Always choose to invest in yourself first and you won't go wrong with it!
Have fun loving yourself.... If you don't know how to love you, would anyone know how to love you?
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
"What happened to the men after the first date?"
"Why am I attracting all the married or unavailable men?"
Do these questions ring a bell or sound familiar?
Well.... I know how that feels because I was once in the position and I wondered if there's something wrong with me and maybe it's because my boobs were too small that's why I can't attract quality men. Maybe if I tried to fix myself then I'll have an easy time attracting men that I like.
The good news is... I'm here to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing you need to fix! I know... your next question is this... if I'm so perfect then why is it so difficult to get on quality dates or at least men who are you are keen in.
If you've watched the Dog whisperer, Cesar Millan how he tames the "unruly" dogs, you'll probably know what I'm going to say. How he tames the dogs is very simple. He "trains" the humans first and then tame the dog. He says usually it's always the human's energy that's messed up that's causing the dog to go crazy. Once the human gets a grip over his own emotions and calms down, more often than not, the dog calms down as well.
So what can we learn here, if the dog can sense it's owner's energy and reflecting how the owner is feeling then the same applies here to our dating patterns. Before I elaborate more on this. I want to add on to this energy thing.
Louise Hay said, when a 2 year old displays their terrible 2's tantrum, it's usually a reflection of their parent's emotions. And I absolutely agree with her. You're a reflection of your parents.
Your kids (if you have any) learn and pick up your energy whether you like it or not, believe it or not! So if your kids are going a bit wild, reflect on your inner feelings. More often than not, you're also going through "one of those days".
I recently gave birth to my 3rd child 3 weeks ago and the two older girls adores the baby. There was no jealously what so ever. And I would love to think because we gave so much love to our girls therefore, they are generously giving their love to their younger sister. When we brought baby Arielle to the paediatrician, she asked how were the older girls reaction towards the baby. We told her the girls love the baby and the paediatrician said then we as parents have done it right! YAY!
Back to your dating scene, what does this all mean to you? It means that if your dates are disappearing after the first few dates or men who can't commit, it means deep down somewhere, either you're not really ready for a committed relationship, you don't believe in love or men (you think that all the men are trying to hurt you or you don't believe there's such a thing called love) or you don't know really know what exactly you want.
Your environment is just a reflection of your beliefs. It's not the other way round.
If you want to start attracting men who will treat you right, then start with yourself first. Start treating yourself the way you want men to treat you. And the best way to do it, is to love yourself more and get to know what makes you happy....
Always choose to invest in yourself first and you won't go wrong with it!
Have fun loving yourself.... If you don't know how to love you, would anyone know how to love you?
Is your (LOVE) life messed up?
14 January 2013
I may not have met you personally but if you think that your LOVE life is messed up then I would (boldly) assume that all other areas of you life is not as smooth sailing as well.
I know you may be thinking in your head... "How dare she say she that?" Welll..... there's a saying... how you do something is how you do everything.
If you love life is in a mess then, probably you're also not in a job you love, not making the money you would like to, not having the time and money to do what you love and maybe.... just maybe.... not very excited to get out of bed every morning.
I may not know you but let me tell you why your life in general is in a mess.
- You lack integrity. I'm not saying you are dishonest but you lack integrity towards yourself. You don't keep the promises you've made. For eg: You may tell yourself things like: You'll get up earlier to meditate... You'll save $200 every month.... spend more time with family.... but you don't keep your word. THINK GOAL SETTING!
- You don't invest in yourself. Investing in yourself means spending money on growing and developing yourself (your mindset and awareness). The more you invest in yourself, the more you show the universe you love yourself and you deserve it!
- You don't act on the opportunity that it's presented to you. Sometimes we expect the opportunities to appear in a certain way, the way we want it... but it doesn't. You may be shown several steps before reaching the actual goal.
- You are not spending enough time alone (quality time). Spending time alone helps you get to know you better. If you aren't respecting yourself and loving the time with you, why would someone else?
- You are still in the victim mindset (where you envy others getting what they want but doubt it for yourself) or princess mindset (you expect everything to be served to you on a silver platter).
- Unwilling to make any changes. If you are not making any changes because of money or what ever reason, then ask yourself, how will you ever get out the situation you are in? Are you afraid of taking risk? No risk, no gain!
- Not taking any action. Are you just complaining about how life can be better? Complaining isn't going to get you anywhere.
If you truly want to make this year the best year for you, then start with this.... I'm not going to ask you do walk up the mountains or cross the red sea.
Do just this 1 thing: I want you to de clutter your life.
What does this mean?
- Clear out your office.
- Clear out your wardrobe, cabinet, drawers....
- Clear out your thoughts....
- ... whatever that's not serving you and your highest good.
And then start organizing them neatly... yes you can do that with your thoughts!
Once you start clearing out things that no longer serve your highest good, watch how the universe then replaces the "spaces" with things you really want. The universe abhors vacuum... don't ask me why.. that's just the way it is...
You already have everything you need, am I right to say... you want MORE than what you have now? To have more than enough and to be able to manifest what you want, you have to let go and believe that your life is already in order.
All you need to do right now is to JUMP and know that you will land safely on dry land!
Have faith, jump and let go! Love and abundance is waiting for you on the other side.
Are you ready?
Elyse is Singapore's Leading LOVE coach for Successful Single women from www.PurposelyInLove.com. She is a Love Attraction Expert and also known as the "Queen of Love Transformations ". She specializes in helping single women who struggles to attract amazing men who will rock their world to Attract their TRUE LOVE in 90 days and get a love life the easy and painless way by showing them why they are stuck and experiencing blocks with love and help clear them pretty quickly.
Because of this her clients get proven, undiluted and specific step by step instruction on how to get over their exs, attract men they really want and not who they get without looking desperate and feeling needy. No more mind games. No more conforming to society "rules". Her clients usually experience an A-HA moment in just 1 session.
She believes that it's every woman's ultimate goal to love and be loved and live a purposeful life. When a woman experiences and gets the love she desires, she is able to create miracles in her life. She becomes an alchemist. On the other hand, when a woman's life is blocked in love, it affects every area of her life. She literally shuts down and experiences struggles in every area of her life.
"Love life and live life the way you want it!" ~ Elyse-Anne
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
10 signs you should leave the relationship
07 January 2013
We women are physically wired for commitment, mate, bond and reproduction. Don't you think so? Every guy you date or physically attracted to, you may have thoughts of how life would be like if you could spend the rest of your life with him or how "YOUR" children would look like.
We can't help it! That's the way nature programmed us.
We can't help it! That's the way nature programmed us.
But it would definitely make life much easier if the MALE has to fight to win our attention instead... just like in the animal kingdom. That would surely save us buckets and buckets of tears. Unfortunately, the human race doesn't work this way since we are rich in emotions.
Sometimes you may even have an inner knowing that he's going to break your heart but you go ahead anyway.... You know that the relationship is coming to an end but you refuse to admit or see what's happening. WHY?
Why do you want to put yourself through this heartache? Do you think you deserve it?
Women tend to hold on to their dysfunctional relationships for various reasons even though they know it's not for their highest good:
- fear of being alone.
- fear of not being to be in another relationship.
- lose face.
- if the let go of the relationship, they are left with nothing
- secretly enjoying the drama.
Whatever the reason may be, it's not healthy to hold on hold to any dysfunctional relationship.
If it hurts, it ain't love and if you are with your true love, it shouldn't be filled with heartaches. It would be an easy relationship. So if you are not having an easy time then perhaps you need to walk away.
1. Your partner says he loves you but makes fun of you.
2. He calls you every minute to ask you where are you, checks your phone and emails.
3. He doesn't allow you to hang out with your friends and family.
4. You are constantly fighting with one another for no reason.
5. He's physically and emotionally hurting you.
6. You're compromising / self sacrificing your dreams and goals.
7. Not looking forward to spending time together.
8. You no longer see him in the future and fantasizing to be with someone else.
9. No more sex.
10. Making excuses to justify your partner's bad behavior.
If you're spotting any signs then its a clear sign your relationship is in the red and calling out for your attention.
No one should make you feel bad about yourself. If you're struggling to survive in your relationship, it's time to take a step back and reflect and ask yourself is this what you want.
No one should make you feel bad about yourself. If you're struggling to survive in your relationship, it's time to take a step back and reflect and ask yourself is this what you want.
Once you've identified that you are in a toxic relationship, then ask yourself is this what you really want for the rest of your life. If not, then why are you staying on?
There's a lid for every pot and if your relationship is not serving you well and if you choose to continue to stay on, you are denying yourself an opportunity to be with your REAL TRUE LOVE!
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
Forget making a new year resolution...
02 January 2013
Seriously... forget about making a new year resolution if you haven't... and if you have... I bet it won't take you too long before you chuck it in the dustbin.
Does your list look like this?
I wish:
- to lose weight in the new year.
- find my MR. Right.
- get promotion so will have more pay.
- learn something new.
- be a better person.
- get what I didn't get done from last year's list.
To me, this looks more like a wish list than a 'TO DO" list doesn't it?
Here's why it won't work out.... a wish list is a list of things that you wish for and hopefully it'll come true. Just like hopefully Santa will visit me this year. And if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it's ok. So you'll not put in much effort to make things work out.
A TO DO list is a list that you must get it done otherwise there will be consequences to bear. Such as a dateline to meet or an appointment to see.
If you still do not know the difference, then I want you feel the words. Look at your list and repeat the words.... this is my wish list.... this is my wish list.... this is my wish list.... and then this is my to do list... this is my to do list.... this is my to do list..... and see how each feels to you.
Also, if you've a habit of making a wish list and never follow through, you'll not do it because it's not registered in your mind to put this WISH LIST on your priority things to do list.
If you want to have all of the above fulfilled, here's what I suggest you do instead:
- If you want to lose weight, put YOU in first priority. That means LOVE yourself first.
- Want to find your Mr Right? Stop trying to fix yourself because you're already perfect and don't settle for anything less than perfect.
- Want a pay rise? Know what's your worth and that you deserve to be paid as much as you desire.
- Live each day at a time.
- Stop thinking and talking about the past and worrying about the future.
- Watch your tongue. If there's nothing nice to say... SHUT UP!
- Forget about future goals if you can't complete your daily work. It's the small steps that leads you to the bigger picture.
- Stay focus on the end result. That means, you need to know what you want in life.
- Love life and the people around you. YES! That includes the people you can't stand.
- Only hang out with positive people. Watch your environment closely.
- If you say you'll do something do it... say what you mean and mean what you say. How you do something, is how you do everything. That's integrity.
- Break a rule or two... rules are meant to be broken. Live for yourself and not what others think you should do!
- Go have a DRASTIC makeover.
If you still have problems doing this, then get an accountability partner. If you really want a different and better life then you need to do something you've never done before.
Is it worth it? I don't know.... you tell me.....
Meet Elyse The LOVE Coach for women
Elyse is Singapore's Leading LOVE coach for Successful Single women from www.PurposelyInLove.com. She is a Love Attraction Expert and also known as the "Queen of Love Transformations ". She specializes in helping single women who struggles to attract amazing men who will rock their world to Attract their TRUE LOVE in 90 days and get a love life the easy and painless way by showing them why they are stuck and experiencing blocks with love and help clear them pretty quickly.
Because of this her clients get proven, undiluted and specific step by step instruction on how to get over their exs, attract men they really want and not who they get without looking desperate and feeling needy. No more mind games. No more conforming to society "rules". Her clients usually experience an A-HA moment in just 1 session.
She believes that it's every woman's ultimate goal to love and be loved and live a purposeful life. When a woman experiences and gets the love she desires, she is able to create miracles in her life. She becomes an alchemist. On the other hand, when a woman's life is blocked in love, it affects every area of her life. She literally shuts down and experiences struggles in every area of her life.
"Love life and live life the way you want it!" ~ Elyse-Anne
© Elyse-anne - The Love Coach for Successful Single Women | Relationship expert for All Women
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