How Do You Know If He's The Right One?

04 October 2013

Photo via Pinterest.

We all tend to think that our problems in relationships are unique. And sometimes you'll hear women say... "You don't understand my situation. He's different."

Let me assure you that this is not true. Whether you are in America, London, Africa, China, Singapore or even in the North Pole. We all think alike. That's the herd mentality or collective consciousness Carl Jung talked about.

Singapore is a cosmopolitan city with 4 main races but over the years we have counter parts from all over the world making Singapore their home. And I often hear the Singapore women lamenting on how easy it is for the caucasian ladies to "score" a man because they are confident, poised and... different.

On the other hand, I hear the caucasian sisters tell me that they are having such a difficult time here in Singapore because most of the expatriates come with their families and that dramatically lower their chances.

Have your heard of this saying... the moon is always greener on the other side? Well... we always think and assume that other people are having an easier time.

May I take this opportunity to remind you never to assume. ASSUME = making an Ass out of U and ME! And let me ASSURE you that the questions I get from the women are the same.

1. Where can I find him?
2. How can I find him?
3. When is the right time?
4.  Is there something wrong with me?
5. How do I know if he's THE RIGHT ONE?

Whether you have been single for a long time or you are already dating someone, there is always this question lingering at the back of your mind.


Before I answer that, let me be the bad person and burst some bubbles (aka mind chatter or mind monkeys) in your mind and bring you back to reality.... Don't shoot the messenger ok... You can see this as tough love from me to you.

I want to ask you ask you a question:

  • why do you want/need love?

Is it because you are lonely? Or you feel that if you have a man, you will be happier and life will be good for you?

If you come from this mindset, what it unconsciously saying about you is that you are hoping that a man will rescue you. And you see yourself as a victim.

When you come from a place of neediness, you will never attract the right one! As the Law of Attraction states, LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.

There's really no such thing as the right one or the wrong one. You attract who you believe you deserve to have. I know! In your mind you may be thinking... Why the heck would I want to attract uncommitted men?

On the conscious level, you know that's what you do not want. But still, you are constantly attracting men who you don't want. So that means, you have to make your unconscious conscious, otherwise you will think this is fate (that's why Carl Jung said).

The formula is really simple.

When you are the RIGHT one, you will attract the Right one.

Most women expect to find a prince charming when they are the evil step sister.

I want to share a story with you.

I was asking a lady what qualities does she have and it seems like she took it the wrong way. And she yelled at me and accused me of being rude. Then I asked her what kind of guy she wanted and if she thought she was the right one?

Here's her answer:
"I know I'm the right one except for my fiery temper so I want to have a guy who is calm and cool."

My answer to her:
"That's great! You know you are the right one but I'm just curious. Why would Mr Perfect/ Mr Right who is calm and cool want someone who has got a fiery temper?"

There was a long pause and then she replied...... " Ya... that's true... I didn't think about it that way."

If you are thinking if he's the right one, I'm sure he's also thinking if you are the right one. Trust your inner gut feeling and if you sense that something is wrong then probably he's not the one.

True love is like a puzzle piece that fits effortlessly together. If it hurts, it ain't love.

© Elyse-Anne - The Love and Relationship Success Mindset Expert | Coach and Mentor for Women Who Want To Design Their Love Life | Certified Creative Love™ Coach 

Purposely In Love is a personal development company that helps women attract, master and teach love. The process is based on Jungian Psychology and Eastern Philosophy, a deeper approach than the surface dating tips, helping singles consciously create a relationship with the person that is meant for their true self.

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